Below is the shortened version of the letter we had written for Sebastian. We read this letter at his funeral… I still read it. I still cry when reading it.
To our little, courageous Sebastian
We have known you and loved you for just over 20 weeks. Our hearts have not known a truer or more precious love since you came into our lives. We are truly blessed, proud and happy to have been given you as a gift from God. The pure joy you have brought into our lives will never be replaced, forgotten or understood by anyone else but your Mummy and Daddy.
We are so sorry that you were not well, and whilst your body is so precious and small, it was fragile and weak. We pray that you are not in pain now and never had to experience it. If we could take away your sickness, we would. We have felt so helpless that we could not do more for you. If we could have bared the pain and weakness for you instead, we would.
Life is incredibly unfair and unjust and we are sorry you were affected before your life began. If we gave you this weakness or did something that hurt you, we are so very sorry. We would never want to hurt you or do anything that was not in your best interest. If you feel like we have let you down, we are sorry. There are not enough words to express how sorry we are and how much we love and miss you already.
Since learning of your prognosis, whilst you were in Mummy’s belly, we took you to lots of meaningful places. We’ve tried to show you a life of culture, great food and how much you are loved. We collected shells at the beach that we will keep forever, and have placed some with you in your resting place.
When you get to heaven go straight to your great grandmother – she will look after you until Mummy and Daddy join you again. Your Great Grandmother makes delicious apple pies and is very good at raising boys. I promise you are in good hands.
Your family whom you’ve left behind all adore you and love you so much. Please never think you were given to a family who wouldn’t love you and accept you, because we do and will never forget you.
If in the future you have siblings here on earth, they will know about you and our happiness will never be the same without you. Please, as their big brother, be their guiding star, their angel, just like you are for Mummy and Daddy.
There are so many things we want to tell you; so many stories to share; so many songs to sing to you, and so many experiences we want to give you. But, most of all, we have so much love for you that we want to show you.
We will always feel your presence with us and we will always love, cherish and remember you. You are and always will be our beautiful, little boy.
Until we meet again, stay safe and rest peacefully.
Sweet dreams our little man.
With love, forever and always,
Mummy & Daddy